Batman Parody: The Dark Knight is Confused. Key of Awesome #8.
Batman! Why is he running, dad? Because we have to chase him. Why? Because he can take it. Because he’s not a hero. He’s a silent guardian. A watchful protector. The Dark Knight. I don’t get it. Neither do I, son, but it sounds cool. As I ride on my bike at the end of Dark Knight there’s a few plot points that just don’t feel right. Like why the hell did I agree to take the rap? Harvey Dent killed those people, who gives a crap? And the Joker pulls crimes in such an orderly manner. He must write it down in an evil day planner. His henchmen are psycho and expendable, yet somehow completely dependable. And why is Morgan Freeman all pissed at me? He seemed to resign kind of randomly. It’s okay to build me an armored tank-car but oh tapping phones that’s going too far! This movie of my life just doesn’t hold together. At least this beats the crap out of Batman Forever. I enjoy car chases, explosions and suspense. Is it too much to ask that it all makes sense? No no, Master Wayne. You don’t understand. You can’t kill a symbol but you can kill a man. If I wanna quit, well, then that’s my choice. We’re all alone. You don’t have to use that voice. And what about Miss Dawes? It’s like you forgot her. In Batman Begins she was so much hotter. Joker, are you busy? Let’s call a truce. I need you to help explain the plot to… Batman. Call me insane but I consider us friends. I brought the DVD so we can watch it again. I’ll make the popcorn and pour the sherry. Oh, maybe we can watch it with the commentary! How does Harvey Dent do a total 180? Well, they barbecued his face and he lost his lady. When did you have time to rig up both of those boats? Does talking that way ever damage your throat? Well, at least they got rid of Joel Schumacher. You know what movie is really good? The Hurt Locker. Oh, yeah. I’ve been meaning to see that. I’ve never heard of it. Who’s in it? Anthony Mackie. I don’t know who that is. He was in 8 Mile. Oh, he was the guy who hosted the rap battles? No, that was Mekhi Phifer. Joker, you’re getting white makeup all over the popcorn. Sorry. Hey did I ever tell you how I got these scars? Yes! Several versions. Maybe other people here would like to hear the story?