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The Dark Side Of Cycling! Sneaky Tricks For Beating Stronger Riders

The Dark Side Of Cycling! Sneaky Tricks For Beating Stronger Riders


(logo swooshing) – There’s nothing like going
on a bike ride with a mate, someone you can while away the hours with chatting and laughing. (Simon and James laughing) – Yeah, that’s all well and good, but what if that mate
constantly makes you feel slow? How do you get one over on someone that’s just frankly better than you are? It’s a good question. Fortunately, the dark side of cycling just might have some answers. – Come on, Si! – That’s great bants, mate, yeah. (jazzy music) – Right, this one’s simple
but not particularly devious. Take charge of the route. If you’ve got a riding mate that is stronger than you on the flat, then it’s inevitable that they’re gonna want to ride a flat route, and that’s where they can force the tempo and play into their strengths. But this way you can turn the tables. Why don’t you plan a route that plays into your strengths instead? Perhaps a hilly epic, or if you’re a rider with great power output
but a bit of extra ballast, choose a flat ride to
take away the advantage of your skinnier friends. Well, this is something we
have to do a lot with Emma. (gentle music) – The next three are all great tips just to help buy you a little bit of extra breathing space when climbing without raising any suspicion that you do indeed have a cunning plan. And the basics, well, it’s to effectively rob your friend of oxygen, but
in the nicest possible way. – So one good way of doing this is asking your friend
an interesting question. Watch this. So mate.
– Yeah? – What’s your favorite geometry? – Oh mate, that’s such a great question. I mean, firstly I think we gotta separate what the geometry that you think you like from the geometry that actually. Maybe.
– Oh really? – What I thought I knew
about frame geometry actually wasn’t true at all. Having a one tooth per
sprocket jump, actually, was probably optimal for
that particular situation. But then I just thought,
well, maybe I should– – Right, let’s take a left here, mate. – A left?
– A really good road. Yeah, seriously. – We don’t normally go left here. – I know, mate, it’s really good. – Are you sure?
– Yeah. – Am I gonna like it?
– Yeah, 100% mate. – [James] You’ll love it, amazing road. – I’m not 100% sure I
do like this new road. It’s not very flat, is it? – Oh mate, it flattens off in a bit. You’ll be alright, it
flattens off in a bit. Just keep digging in. – Oh good god! – Nearly there, mate.
– What? – Just keep with it – Now, another great
tip is for those of you who were blessed with the
ability to make anyone laugh. Now, I’m not, clearly,
but we can all search on Google for great one-liners. Drop one of those at
key moments on the climb and you will not only rob your friend of oxygen from their lungs,
but power from their legs. Hey, James.
– Hey, Si. – You heard about that new restaurant just opened up called Karma?
– No. – There’s no menu, you
just get what you deserve. (James laughing) Did you hear about the crook who got caught stealing the calendar? – No, mate.
– Got 12 months. (James laughing) I said, so what if I don’t
know what Armageddon means? It’s not the end of the world. (James laughing) My wife and I, we have a laugh
about how pathetic we are. I laugh more.
– What? Si, I don’t get that one.
– No? – No. (laid back music) Right, now this is a firm favorite, and I’ve used it to my
benefit over the years. The trick is to offer some
delicious piece of food, so delicious that they just can’t refuse. And if it’s well dry like
this, then all the better. (James chuckling) Hey Si, try this amazing new gluten-free, lactose-free, sugar-free,
nut-free chocolate rice cake. – Oh wow, thanks, James. That sounds delicious. (rice cake crunching) That’s really good, isn’t it? – Really good. – It’s really nice, but it’s quite, it’s quite dry, isn’t it? – Come on, Si, you can do it. Just munch it down. – Have you got any water? – Nah, just up on the top. (jaunty music) – Now, those last three were very much about being a good friend, you know. Offering your mate something to eat and making them laugh and engaging them in great conversation. But desperate times call
for desperate measures, and nothing is more effective than simply skipping turns on the front. But you need to use this sparingly, otherwise you may well
find that you don’t have any friends left to ride with. However, there is a great way around this. Everyone loves a compliment. See, watch this. We’re currently doing 32K an hour. James, you are so strong today, mate. It’s like riding behind a motorbike. 34. James, have you lost weight? 36. I’m serious, mate, you
are looking so ripped. You’re like, I’ve just
never seen you so lean. 38. Hey James, do you want
me to give you a turn? – No, mate, I got this. Feeling really good, really good. (energetic rock music) Mate.
– Yeah. – Cafe’s only around 2K away. – Is it?
– Not far away at all. – That’ll be nice. I might start to lean a little bit. – So last one, by fooling
them into thinking the cafe is only 2K up the road, they are likely to toast themselves long before they actually
make it to the cafe, which is further away than 2K. So when they up the tempo, take your chance to sit on
the wheel for a few moments. Wait for them to tire before
cruising off to cafe win glory. We all know, last one in buys the round. Alright, mate.
– Right. – Don’t worry, mate, I’ve ordered for you. But I guess it’s your round, mate, sorry. Yeah. If you liked this video, then remember to give it a big thumbs up. And for more devious tricks, then why don’t you click down there.

100 comments on “The Dark Side Of Cycling! Sneaky Tricks For Beating Stronger Riders

  1. I have been following these channels for the last few days. I like their fun approach.

    I am not a regular cyclist. I live in India. Cycling on main roads here is not as easy as it looks to me on the European or american roads.

    Apart from the road conditions and traffic, my biggest problem is that I feel my balls getting squished every time I ride. I tried to ride in biking gear, it didn't help.

    Do anybody else feel the same? Any solution?

  2. When is the full, unedited video "Si's thoughts on geometry" being released? Or does that go past YouTube's length limit?

  3. The best way to beat your buddies is to smother them in kindness. When they reach the top of the hill ahead of you, thank them for waiting and give them a snack bar. You know in your heart of hearts that you let them win.

  4. I loved this vid. Classic GCN: A lot of fun with some actual wisdom tucked in as well. One of the things I found very interesting is looking at Si and James head on, for example at 0:38, and noting how different their body types are. You could readily imagine James powering away on the flats but Si leaving him behind on the climbs.

  5. OK… rice cake and delicious… really…?? Now, you realize Emma watches this… you've lost your route planning advantage there!

  6. I honestly hate to leave a negative comment so… how do I put this…??? Please stick to videos that don't require acting chops. 😉

  7. Thanks for the tips and grins, Si and Hank. And I suppose my sneakiest trick is when I'm riding solo and get overtaken by a speedster with nary a hello or word of cheer. So I get in his draft, up my pace, and pull alongside with a friendly greeting, something like, "Such a nice day for a ride, glad you're out here, how far you riding?" And usually I'll drop back and let them go, having made my friendly point. But sometimes, if I've had my Wheaties, I'll stand on the gas and offer to pull. And if I pull away, well, that's fine, too. It just pains me whenever someone thinks I'm a kook. Besides, I gotta represent my peoples, all those kids on their Sting-Rays in California all those years ago. And we're not racing through the halls of the retirement home, yet 🙂

  8. Si, I loved your jokes so much I posted them on my Facebook page. I gave GCN and you, Si, credit for the jokes. Thanks for brightening my day.

  9. It's hard to pull a Team Cinzano stunt like in Breaking Away with a mini pump or CO2 cartridge. That had to be why you didn't include that dirty trick. 🙂

  10. Take your turn on the front when ascending, rather than on the flat. Your mates will get less advantage from you at lower speeds during a climb than at higher speeds on the level.

  11. Personal favorite is to time your pulls on the front for the advantageous parts. Take long turns into the headwind to make them suffer, then go behind on the downwind section.

  12. Nice one guys! Love the new ideas you are having, really cool to see some of these shorter videos, but just full of good points to think on, just help all of us enjoy the riding (as usual, you do a great job of this). Finally though, yeah, can't help but think, Matt would have been perfect for this one. Miss you Matt! But James, you're doing very well, keep up the good work!

  13. Watching Si eat that rice cake was priceless. I know that feeling. And the café bluff is something I've fallen victim to on a group ride or two. It's the road bike equivalent of, "It's all down hill from here" mountainbike lie.

  14. Don't get some people talking about politics or their latest breakup. They'll suck all the oxygen out of the area and asphyxiate you in the process.

  15. Tip 7 – just lie to your friends about the route. When Hank says the road flattens out I know that’s a lie. I’ve done that climb up the Bernia and there’s a horrible ramp just before the top.

  16. Seems to be pretty much my introduction to bunch riding 17 years ago. Until someone in the group who hasn’t figured it out starts cramping or bonks.

  17. Without Matt these videos are a bit flat. Good effort guys but it misses that laugh

    Sorry GCN, but it's a bit "Mattless" 🤔

  18. Funny stuff! Thanks, guys. All of us who have cycled somewhat seriously can relate to these techniques. I have fallen for 2 in particular. Having an oversized ego made me susceptible to compliments, and being “uninformed” about the distance to the next rest stop. I would turn myself inside out at the front in both situations, and get dropped during the race home! Darn!

  19. Be careful boys. Remember the wisdom of Yoda: "Once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny. Consume you it will, as it did Obi-Wan's apprentice."

  20. It's scraping the bottom of the barrel. They are not young mean themselves and have out grown this juvenile humour. Why the pretence? GCN is running out of ideas. This is not very good frivolity. Who needs it?

  21. I bet the second one does not work on Emma as she might be explaining how to get fitter or some linguistics or maybe soemthing about dirt while still crashing the guys on an epic climb. Something worth watching.

    Love Simons expression at 6:08, the thumb of sneakiness.

  22. I tend to carry a Presta to Schrader valve converter in the bag too (tiny thing) in case my pump fails and someone else offers a more common Schrader pump. PSI then just becomes the issue as a lot of car pumps won't hit 100PSI but limping home on 80 could do.

  23. Yes, I miss Matt too. The new presenters are developing nicely and GCN is maturing into an excellent vehicle (no pun intended) for cycling fans. I'd like to see Matt brought back for an occasional cameo to kind of spice things up a bit. I tend to binge watch GCN and I'm wondering where's Lasty?

  24. To my dearest, and closest, cycling friends: SORRY Tan to have encouraged you to pull too long, and too often, just so I could drop you on our punchy 22% climb. SORRY Jer for steering you away from the climbs, to play to my gross watts, not your Watts/kg. SORRY Ror for smiling and nodding nonchalantly on the longer 18% hill when I saw you were suffering (I was at my limit too). I just I didn’t expect you to stop and walk – I then had to pretend that I didn’t see that dismount and struggle onward. SORRY Sam, for winding up the effort (sitting upright), only to drop in to the bars with a good head of speed just to get to the warthog sign first. SORRY Fer, leading you to the hills because of my relative Watts/kg difference.

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