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Top Ten Devious Ways To Beat Your Mates

Top Ten Devious Ways To Beat Your Mates

– [Matt] Devious, naughty. – [Simon] Crafty. – [Dan] Sabotage. We all love going for a ride with our
mates, having a chat, and just generally being sociable. But let’s face it,
beneath that friendly exterior, there’s going to be more than a little bit
of healthy competition underneath. – But what happens if your mates
are actually faster than you? How do you get the edge over them? Well,
don’t tell them, but here are 10 devious tricks that you can use to
help you beat your mates. – But whatever you do, don’t
try these at home. Devious. ♪ [music] ♪ – Now, this takes a little bit of forward
planning, but it’s one of the most undetectable tricks in the book. You
need a bucket of water and a track pump, and then it’s simply a case of sucking
water into the pump and then blowing it into the tire. Oh, yeah. Keep going until
you get to 100 psi, and by that point, you’ll have added enough weight
to seriously hamper your friend’s performance, but not too much. Then
they’re not instantly going to notice. They’ll take a while
before they’re ruined. – Sabotage. Guys, just
knock it back just very, very slightly. I’m just…
something’s not quite right. – What’s up, mate? – Just a bit, sort of sluggish. I feel
that…just knock one [inaudible 00:01:40] off, and I’ll be all right. – No, you’ll be all right. Why
don’t we just see you at the top? – Naughty. This will be a
bit quicker to carry out, and will still reduce your friend’s
performance, as well as driving them totally crazy. There’s nothing worse than
thinking the saddle is the wrong height, aside of which from it actually being the
wrong height. But nothing too drastic, just about one cm or so, just
enough to sow the seeds of doubt. ♪ [music] ♪ – That will do nicely. Shh. – Just can’t quite get the power out. – You look all right, just ride
through. You’ll be fine, honestly. Just get into a rhythm. – I just can’t. It’s like my seat
has slipped or something. – You look all right to me, Si. It’s
just in your head. Just man up, yeah? – Sabotage. ♪ [music] ♪ – Are you always last to the top of
climbs? Well, maybe all it takes is a couple of turns of a screwdriver or
an Allen key when you’re a Catholic. Now, just two or three turns to the lower
limit screw on the front mech, and you’re done. Then it’s just about picking your
moment to attack. We suggest just at that moment when your friend’s chain comes off. ♪ [music] ♪ – You know it makes sense. – Do you ever get those days where you
just can’t seem to clip into your pedals when you want to? I mean, this is Matt
Stephens’ bike, and we all know he gets those days every time he rides. – [Beep] sake. – But what can make it even
funnier is if it’s not even his fault. Just get a conveniently-sized
stone or twig, wedge it in the back. Then just sit back, wait, and enjoy. – Okay. – Guys, I’ve got…no, honestly,
the pedal’s gone funny. – You all right, Matt?
We’re not waiting for you. – I know, there’s something…
it’s not working. Guys! – Crafty. We all know the value
of hydration, and sports nutrition has a big part to play in that,
so why not get rid of this valuable mix of electrolyte and carbohydrate and
replace it with an alternative mix of electrolyte and carbohydrate? Beer. ♪ [music] ♪ – Sabotage. – I know this is going to sound really
weird, Si, but since that last caffi stop, my drink has started tasting like a
sort of over-sickly orange flavor. The energy drink tastes like
it was thirst-quenching beer. I feel brilliant! – It should work for most people. – Crafty. ♪ [music] ♪ – Sometimes the old ones are the best
ones. All this little trick takes is a quick nudge of the brake caliper, and
as soon as you start, you’ll find out that your strong companion is soon struggling. – Yeah, okay. All right. – Ready? – Yeah, let’s roll. ♪ [music] ♪ – Naughty. ♪ [music] ♪ – This next one rather relies on someone
with a good sense of humor and a riding mate who can tell a good joke, little bit
like me, in fact. Well-timed joke is a nice, uninvasive way of getting one over
on your mates on the steep part of a climb. Hey, did I tell you the one about
this guy I met the other day? He’s married to this girl called
Lorraine, and they were married for, like, seven, eight years, and then he
met this other girl called Clearly… I can see Clearly now,
Lorraine has gone. ♪ [music] ♪ – Oi! That’s cheating! – Oh, sneaky! ♪ [music] ♪ Is that super strong rider in your group
someone that, in every climb, gets in the zone, fully concentrated,
aiming for their own star record or someone else’s? Well, if they are, they’ve
got a serious chink in their armor, because they haven’t got any spatial
awareness. Once the climb starts, and they start pressing on again, roll up behind
them, just gently place your hand underneath the saddle, hold on
gently, and just ease off the pedals. They’re so in the zone,
they can’t even notice. Well done, Si. You are bossing it
today, mate. Think there’s a headwind. Really going well. – Oh, sabotage. If you’ve really got a killer instinct,
you should always be on the lookout for little places where you
can sneak an advantage. – Whoa! – Think outside the box. – Jeez! What are you doing? Oi! Naughty. ♪ [music] ♪ We’ve said this before in a legitimate
video about going faster for free, but we’re going to say it again. Be
crafty, be stealthy. Sit in out of the wind on the flats, so you’re nice and
fresh for the climbs, where you can hit your mates as hard as you can.
Boom! Get in! But do this too much, you ought to be a little bit careful, you
might end up having no more mates to beat. But, to be honest, I don’t care. Here
we go! Woo hoo! I’m the winner. Yes, I am. Woo hoo! Devious. – Crafty. – Naughty. – Sabotage. – But whatever you do,
don’t try these at home. For more GCN
Top 10s, click here. – And if you haven’t yet
subscribed, simply click on Matt. You know
it makes sense.

100 comments on “Top Ten Devious Ways To Beat Your Mates

  1. its funny seeing all 3 of them clinging to each other with that seat post grab. haha. Thats real sabotage friends you got there.

  2. Ah, the old days. Three amigos cocking about on bikes. Not sure why this popped up on recommended list, but I'm glad it did! Hope Dan and Si still see Matt from time to time. Legend!

  3. Careful with the saddle grab you might grab their bum or people are going to stare like crazy while attempting

  4. you forgot about falling behind on a decent and dragging your cleat on the road and letting out a blood curling scream

  5. When just ahead of your mates and in the run in sprint to the coffee shop, or final sprint of your ride call a warning of "Glass ahead". They will instinctively slow down for long enough for you to press home your advantage!

  6. loosening the seat clamp is the best prank you can do to someone on a bike, slighty loosen it so that as soon as they hit a small bump the seat falls down against the frame

  7. Outrageous! Calling (American) Budweiser beer. You should be ashamed of yourselves. That's the curse of being a home-brewer (and craft beer fan) AND a road cyclist.

  8. Another devious trick is to loosen the seat post clamp just enough so that when your friend sits on the saddle it will just drop and then he will have go through the effort of finding the perfect ride and by the time he does you will have already made it to the top of the climb

  9. Seats can be sabotaged with more subtlety, with plausible deniability. Over time most seats move back on the rails, of their own accord. Just speed up the process for a 'friend' and they won't know why it is they spend so long out the saddle getting painful knees.
    Seat angle is also something that can be messed with, if angled off to one side then that means any shorts or trousers worn will mysteriously wear out on one side. This won't be detected so easily and won't result in an instant win, but, if you have good friends you can also work on them psychologically, pointing out these setup details that they 'have got wrong' at an opportune time.
    Golden rule for seats though – dead level and in the middle of the rails.

  10. Why would you sabotage some ones bike …. how would youfeel if some one caused injury to you via some stupid trick.
    Why not break a few spokes ….

    Shameful for advertising these

  11. I love practical jokes, but effing with someone's bike can be dangerous and can cause you to lose friends. I hope you won't mind if I laugh at you when you lose two front teeth.

  12. Gcn Can you give me one of your jerseys? 😍 I really like your jerseys!! but I dont have money to buy them. 🙁 Im fan of yours!

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